i can't take it anymore. and by "it" i mean everything. all week i'll wake up and twelve hours later, at 6 or so, i am SO tired i just have to go to bed. then i can't get up in the morning 'cuz i'm so tired, all thanks to me coming off the effexor. and i only went down 37.5 mg. well, 75 mg down, 150 left to go before i'm officially off effexor. ugh. that means another 6 weeks. gee, how fun it's going to be in the upcoming weeks.
i am sick of being taken advantage of. and i mean the people that expect me to give them rides home all the time, or to lend them money just about every day 'cuz they need it, when i can't even afford most of what they can, and being treated/looked at as an object by guys. from now on, i am not giving anyone rides anywhere, unless you ask and don't expect me to every day. every once in a while is fine with me. just not every single frickin' day. it's just a waste of time then, and gas.
i've got to learn not to let some people borrow money if i know they're never gonna pay be back. jake stample is the only exception. besides, all he ever asked for was a burger from burger king. but i'm talking about the rest of you. i don't care if you don't have any or how bad you need (well, maybe. it depends on what the situation is), because my financial situation with me and my family has been very very bad for the last couple of months. and i can't be spending more than i already do. hell, i can't even get my senior pictures.
what i'm really sick of, is being looked at me as some sex object to every single frickin' guy, except for david. god, every day, i swear, just about every guy i know looks at and talks to me in certain ways and that's it. for once i'd like to talk to a guy, more than just saying "hi, what's up" without getting hit on and hearing the same things over and over. yes i know i have a nice ass, and i know i don't wear bras a lot, and i know i look cute when i'm mad or pout, and so forth. but i don't need to get hit on and that's it. to them i'm just a girl with some features they find very attractive and sexy and they want to do me. i am sick of it.
*sigh* tomorrow's friday. that means powderpuff shirts (yea!) and football game (semi-yea!). i have the option of not going to renaissance to attend north's pep rally and parade, but if i do that then i have to march. and i don't want to. so i'm gonna go to yoga and pottery instead. much more fun to me. football game is gonna be same-old, same-old, with the exception that we have a half-time show. and half the student body will be there. saturday i my act's or sat's. i can't remember which. sat. yea, because it used to be at north but they had to change it to marian in fond du lac. but also there's the dance. i finally decided this afternoon that i'm not going to go with drew. i just have a bad feeling about it, and just about everyone i asked opinions for said not to go with him. it was a hard decision. lord knows i would so kill to go to hc with a date for once. my first actual date with someone. heh. but i should've known i would've ended up alone in the end. i don't think drew even wanted to go with me. just to go with a girl that looks good and maybe get lucky (again, sex object thing). so now i'm gonna go with mimi, joy and keitha to dinner at koreana. and then i'll show up at the dance, fashionably late of course. and we'll see what happens.
all right i can hardly keep my eyes open anymore, and i'm falling asleep. no surprise here. see you all around sometime. i'll update later this weekend. have fun you guys.